imgoingtowalmartyallneedanything:

we need a disney princess who drinks bong water

we need a disney princess who drinks bong water

we need a disney princess who drinks bong water

we need a disney princess who drinks bong water

we need a disney princess who drinks bong water

we need a disney princess who drinks bong water

thestateonmtv:

kuntsuragi:

kuntsuragi:

where’s that eye witness account from someone claiming that chris evans rolls fat joints

found it

This is why Jenny slate gave him another chance

ritavonbees:

asgardreid:

cardozzza:

dannydanuselessstuff:

artaline:

human: *is heating up food*

alien: why are you doing that?

human: you see i want the particles in my food to vibrate at just the right frequency

Human: *is eating ice cream*

alien: wait you forgot to make that one vibrate!

human: well, you see, not with this food

This one is already vibrating at he desired frequency, but if it starts to vibrate at a higher frequency I lock it back in the cold box.

Human: *just reheated pizza in the oven*

Other human: *is eating a slice of the same pizza, but cold*

Alien: *exasperated sputtering*

Human: shots! shots! shots!

Alien: this liquid has negligible nutritional value and, furthermore, contains some molecules that I believe are poisonous to your species.

Human: …look, sometimes we just like to gather in social groups and disorient ourselves